I didn’t know I was in love with my first love until I was crying alone in my room, the day after it was truly over, wondering why it hurt so much. Maybe, I didn’t even realize then. Maybe I’ve only come to think about it that way weeks, months, after the whole ordeal. I think about and the doubt is heavy – it doesn’t feel much different from any other relationship, there was just a little more feeling than the rest. Does that count?
Even if it does, and even if it is, I kept this realization to myself. I am not the kind of person who wears emotions on her sleeve, nor am I the kind to tell anybody, even friends, how I feel. I know this varies, from person to person. Some people are more comfortable, feel better after exposing their soul to someone else. I’m not that kind of person. I like my intimate affairs to be intimate, to be between only the people involved. I feel better after writing, releasing my thoughts into a void, seeing letters come out as I write down words. I write as a form of therapy.
This was first love for me. Young, innocent, sweet, sharing.
Parang board game, at the start you don’t know what you’re doing, but you learn as you go along. You’re young enough to try new things, without the fear.
Parang nahulog na jenga, kasi looking back, you should’ve seen everything, the signs, when both of you removed blocks without making sure the foundation was sturdy, moments they you could tell that the tower was bound to fall, but you kept playing anyway.
Inumin na may dalawang straw, because you learn to share, to immediately think of the other person’s needs along with your own. You learn to make room for another person to fit in your life, introduce them to your friends, enjoy the things that you used to do alone, and vice-versa. Para sa taong tulad ko, mahirap magpasok ng bago sa nakasanayan na (kuntento naman kasi ako mag-isa, tahimik, walang kailangang magbantay ng bawat galaw ko), at dahil ‘adaptable‘ ako, depende kung sino kasama, mahirap din ipakilala yung ako na buo, hindi lang yung ako kapag kasama ang officemates, pamilya, o yung ako kapag kasama ang kaibigan mula sa kolehiyo (itong pangalawa ang pinakatunay, pinakagusto kong ako).
Bulaklak, kasi may panunuyong nagaganap, sweet. In Theo 131, they call it ‘best foot forward’ syndrome. Yung puro positive lang muna papakita mo. First love na first love, di ba?
How do you remember your first love?
The story of 1st Ko Si 3rd, a Cinemalaya 2014 entry, revolves around first love. Newly retired Cory, 65, finds herself facing a crisis of adapting to her new life, and along with it, the meaning of her life and existence — after working so hard for so many years, she’s met with the quiet of her own home and her own thoughts. Who is she without her job, when her children are all fully grown and don’t need her to take care of them anymore? From working 9 hours a day, to suddenly having all 24 hours to do… nothing.
One fateful day, Cory bumps into her first love – Third. Third, who she never got to go on a first date with. And so begins the changes in Cory’s life – days are brighter, she’s learning new things, making use of the then-seemingly-endless time she has for herself, finding new hobbies, meeting friends, pampering herself.
1st Ko Si 3rd stars Nova Villa as Cory Gonzales, Freddie Webb as Third Rodriguez and Dante Rivero as Alejandro Gonzales. Playing younger versions of Cory and Third are Coleen Burgonia and Ken Chan. The film also stars Ruby Ruiz, Charee Pineda, RJ Agustin, and Lara Morena. The movie is written and directed by Real S. Florido and marks the first time in more than a decade where once on-screen partners of the 90s Nova Villa and Freddie Webb reunite.
Getting to know strangers.
On July 12, I was invited to 1st Ko Si 3rd‘s Blogger’s Presscon at Mrs. Graham’s Macaron Cafe.
It was a lovely venue for an intimate event. The young cast of the movie graced the venue, as well as the production staff, and they all answered questions about the movie and participated in the games organized.
One game was to take a photo around the café of something that symbolizes first love. The photo above was my entry.
Another game was a question and answer portion of sorts. It was personal, in the way that getting to know you games aren’t, diving into the heart of the matter quickly. Each blogger and celebrity were given a black speech bubble cut-out and some chalk. Then the questions began: Are you Facebook friends with your first love? Where did you meet your first love? How old were you? If you had the chance to be together again with your first love, would you?
(Interestingly enough, while everyone varied on the first three questions, everyone answered a resounding ‘No’ to the last one.)
I have been (and have organized) events, and I must say, the game was definitely an experience to remember. While I may or may not see these people again, I know things about them that run deeper, beneath the surface, more than what their favorite color is or where they went to school.
After the games, we viewed the full trailer and Direk Real Florido talked about the movie. We were given an opportunity to ask the cast present questions, which they answered gamely.
- For direk Real, it was Nova Villa for the lead role or bust. There was no second option, no plan B – not because he didn’t prepare for this eventuality, but because he truly wanted Nova for the role.
- None of the younger actors are currently together with their first loves.
- Dante Rivero drove himself to and from the set (from Bulacan to Manila) for filming.
- This is Nova Villa’s first indie film.
- Ken Chan met his first love in school.
- Denise Barbacena was sixteen when she first fell in love.
- The bond between Nova Villa and Freddie Webb was noticed by the staff, from how they interacted on and off camera, as well as how Ms. Nova told the staff how to make Mr. Webb more comfortable around the set.
- 1st Ko si 3rd isn’t a comedy. It has it’s comedic moments, but more than that, it’s about exploring an interrupted love.
And now, some photos:
Coleen had to leave early for a prior engagement, so I was the only blogger to meet her (it pays to be on time, haha). I thought she was very sweet, even offering to answer any questions I had online, through DM.
I can’t wait for this movie, it looks so promising – I actually already shared the trailer and invited friends to go watch with me before I even got invited to the Press Con. I expect to be taken on a journey for the hour and more that the movie will run.
Before I end this post, I’d like to ask you, reader of this post: Given the chance, would you get back together with your first love?
Go on a journey with Cory as she reunites with her first love. You can catch 1st Ko si 3rd at these dates and venues:
See you there!